Aalize.com / Advice Archives / Advice Archives: Number 43
Advice Archives: Number 43
The request
Aalize's Advice with ATTITUDE!
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The request
I was writting this guy in Jail for almost a year. He would tell how much he cares for me, the way I do for him. I've always been their for him until his time was up. He is out already and I really desire him sexually and would like to be with him for the rest of my life. Even though I don't know him, I still wanna be with him and have a long lasting relationship. I'm just afraid that he'll wanna just be with me sexually, because he doesn't know anyone in San Diego except me. I'm also afraid he'll only want me as a lover until he finds someone else, since he hasn't been with anyone else for five long years. Should I take the risk in loving him or should I just let the time let us know if we were meant to be togather in a serious way?
Aalize replies
Slooow down. Breathe. Think. Breathe. Think. Slooow down. I'm going to give you the facts. When men are in prison, they have a lot of time on their hands. The know exactly what we want to hear, and they say it very, very well. Everyone wants to be loved and desired, it's human nature. Men start talking that good shyt, and we just lose it!
Reality check. This man spent five years in jail. Why was he incarcerated? Exactly what did he do? Could he be planning to use you? Could he be planning to harm you? Hey, life is a gamble, but remember to look before you leap. This man could be your Mr. Right, then again, he could be a wolf in sheep's clothing. Don't rush, take your time.
The request
I have had a boyfriend for 2 years and we haven't had sex for about a year. He doesn't have a good explaination as to why he won't have sex with me. Can you help?
Aalize replies
Your er, so-called boyfriend is sleeping with, boning, making love to, dycking down --- somebody else. He can tell you otherwise, and you can believe him if you like. (... but it wouldn't be too smart ...)
The request
My Arabic boyfriend and I were together for almost two years, but two months ago he quit talking to me for a stupid reason --- I was supposed to call him one day, but I went with some friends to an amusement park and got home late, so I'd figured we'd talk the following day. He called me that night and yelled at me and hung up. He hasn't talked to me since. I have a feeling he is putting my friend up to asking me questions about my whereabouts. My heart is screaming for him, but I know that I shouldn't keep taking him back (we fight a lot). Any advice??? I'm up for effective criticism!
Aalize replies
He yells at you, yet your heart is screaming for him. Another glutton for punishment. If he stopped talking to you for that weak ass reason, you're much better off without him. Your whereabouts are none of his phucking business. The next time your friend asks you where you've been, tell her (so she can tell him) that you'e seeing a tall, handsome RICH stranger --- then actually start dating a tall, handsome RICH stranger... O.K. a tall, handsome stranger will do! Don't waste your time fighting and fussing; life is too short.
The request
II'm currently involved with a certain young man who at times does small things, but I'm a single mom and I don't want or need a scrub. How do I tell him to get lost without coming across as rude? I know that my experiences are the sole reaseon I expect so much, but I have expectations if a fella is going to live with me he has got to at least pay the rent.
Am I trippin or living in the past when that was all good? I know that this may seem petty but I need some serious advice. I don't want to feel that I am running everyone off.
Aalize replies
Before you kick boyfriend to the curb, ask him if he is willing to help you with the bills. He may not be aware that you want him to pay anything. You know how some men are, they think if she doesn't ask, she doesn't need anything. I know that sounds stupid but ...
If this situation doesn't work out for you, be certain to get the financial part of the living arrangements clear before (not during or after) you decide to live with another male.
The request
I have known this girl for about 2 years. We have been best friends for about the last 6 months. We tell each other everything. Somewhere along the lines I fell for her. Now knowing that she is my best friend, and we both tell eac hother that, what should I do? Should I just go along and keep it a strictly friends thing, or come out and tell her how I feel jepordizing the friendship? We spend a lot of time together and always talk on the phone. I give her feet rubs while we sit and watch tv and she occasionally gives me back rubs but thats it. I don't know what to do. Can you give me some real advice?
Aalize replies
Just as you fell for her, she may have fallen for you. The only way you'll know for certain is to make some kind of move. You do not have to risk losing the friendship to do this. Try this: "Helen, I really value our friendship. I like you as a person, and am asking you if we can go on an actual date. We seem to be compaitable, and may be on to something. We can go to dinner, and to a movie or a comedy club. If you're not interested in me like that, please accept my apology."
She may be flattered. She may be repulsed. She may say yes. She may say hell no. You'll never know until you ask. If you get rejected, so what? Nothing in life is certain.
The request
Me and my girlfriend of a year and a half seperated about 2 weeks ago. I don't know how to hanlde it. I love her so much and am deeply in love with her. I'm scared to lose her for good. She said that she needs time to think about things. Time to think about if this (her and I) is really what she wants.
I don't know if I should call her or wait for her to call me. I did, however, call her the other day to see how she was doing, and she sounded happy to hear from me. She thanked me for calling her. I really want to call her and tell her how I'm feeling about the whole thing, but I fell like if I do call her and talk to her about it, I wold feel like I would be pushing her further away from me. I don't want to do that. I don't know if there is anything I can do to "win her back". Just little things like sending her roses. I don't know if I should do that or not. I want to giver her the time that she needs, but it kills me to be away from the one that I love with all my heart. What should I do? Call her and tell her how I feel, or wait for her to call me? Please let me know what I should do.
Aalize replies
It's hard loving someone when they don't seem to love us back. It's also stupid. I'm not tripping, we've all been there. I'm willing to bet that she knows you love her and are in love with her. If it'll make you feel better, call her. Call her one last time. Inform her that you love her, and that you're willing to do whatever it takes to re-establish your relationship with her. Put all of your cards on the table and let the chips fall where they may.
If she says, "that's sweet. I still need time to think about it." Be prepared to move on with your life without her. Remember, people can only make us miserable when we allow them to.
The request
What should I do with someone who loves me but is married?
Aalize replies
Continue having wild, stripper sex with him. Continue doing all of the freaky shyt his wife won't do. Continue being the other woman, so that you're guaranteed to grow old alone. If he loves you, he will divorce his wife and marry you.
CAUTION: Do not hold your breath.
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