Aalize.com / Advice Archives / Advice Archives: Number 42
Advice Archives: Number 42
The request
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The request
12 months ago my Mom was in need of some legal assistance. I over looked this attorney for months. We went to 3 then we received a consultation from him. He did not charge us for it. During this consult, I was very uncomfortable, we finished each others questions and thoughts. I really didn't care for him. After the visit, my Mom stated she noticed how he and I were communicating silently and that is almost unheard of nowadays. Well, I stated I don't like him etc... 5-6 months later he called and asked me out to dinner, I accepted.
We talked about our past and present lives. He gave me the impression we were going to be an item. It was really great, we laughed so hard we cried. Big fun. No sex. He told me he sleeps around. I told him I didn't and wouldn't. The next date was Easter Dinner, he came over. Again, big fun. I didn't hear from him in 9 days, he called we went out again to dinner. He took me to his home. No sex. We talked about it, gave our point of views. Then he began to communicate intimately, this was okay--no sex. He stated sex then would have been too soon, but he says he always has sex on the 1st date. I told him no casual relationship with us, he agreed. I asked him was I wasting his time, he said no! We went out 2-3 more times and he promised my Mom a letter and she did not get it, although she asked for it. That was it, I have not heard from him since.
He has talked to her and told her he can not get any work done for thinking of me. He told her I've stolen his heart. He has not shared any of this with me. He will not answer the phone when I call, but he will take my calls at work. I've called twice. He will not respond to my e-mails. He has told me he is very busy, and he is very lazy and he needs to buckle down and get his business up off the ground. He told me that in the beginning. We are in each others presence we are elevated by each other. Everyone notices how he looks at me, it's as though I'm the only one that matters. My son says he looks at you like he's in love. He thinks I'm rich, but I'm not. He has told me he has no money yet. There is more... but could you help me with the next step. Finally, I sent him an e-mail Friday--stating we need to have a talk about Friendly closure, I haven't heard from him yet. Now, this is a man that stated he would talk to me anytime, and do anything I wanted, and would help me in any way.
Aalize replies
According to what I've read, this man is a liar. His word isn't any good, and he isn't any good for you. Some men tell us what they think we want to hear. He won't accept your calls? Won't return your calls? Won't reply to your e-mails, yet he claims you've stolen his heart? He's busy? Seriously speaking, how does that sound to you?
There isn't that much busy in the entire world. While you weren't wasting his time, he was wasting yours. The next step should be for you to start dating/seeing someone else.
The request
My boyfriend and I have been together for over a year. We have sex 2-3 times a day and GOOD sex. He still masturbates on a regular basis, and he used to be into phone sex. I cant get over the fact that maybe its because he isn't very happy ... its a problem between us.
Aalize replies
Ask him. I'd be willing to bet that he is satisfied, hell you two are having much more sex than me! The fact that he masturbates doesn't necessarily reflect negatively on your relationship, although he could want something sexually that he isn't receiving from you, thus the masturbation & phone sex. Again, ask him.
Ask him point blank, "Honey, is there something that you want sexually that we haven't discussed? I want our sex life to be as good as it can be, let's talk about this." Be willing to listen attentively, and willing to possibly try something new. ( Never do anything that makes you uncomfortable ) Another thing, if he really likes phone sex, suggest that the two of you have phone sex. If you have 2 phone lines, have him call you for a sizzling phone bone!
The request
My question involves masturbation. I don't masturbate normally ... I cross my legs squeezing my legs together and it gives off a great sensation. However, when I have tried fingering myself I couldn't get off as well. I was wondering if since I've been doing this for so long ... when I'm with a guy will I be unable to have an orgasm just by him fingering me or will I have to have to use my form of it?
Aalize replies
Gyrl, men are hella creative, especially when it comes to sex. The right man will more likely than not be able to masturbate you to orgasm with no problem. If he can't, there is no reason for you to withhold what works for you.
The request
I have known this guy for a while and we have been fairly close. Recently we started to e-mail each other. The other night I saw him and chatted with him for the 1st time. We had a fairly long conversation that lead into how he had always been attracted to me and wanted to get under my shirt. I then let him know that I had been crushing on him. The next night we (the two of us w/ some other people) got togethter and nothing happened because we were never alone. I would really like to mess around with him because I'm very attracted to him, but I'm afraid he will only want to mess around and not date. I'm not sure what I should do about this situation. Tell me straight. Thanks.
Aalize replies
The way a situation starts is usually the way it will end. He informed you from the beginning that he was attracted to you and wanted to get under your shirt . Red Flag. If you're interested in dating him, stay out of the bedroom until a relationship has been established.
The request
Don't be gentle, tell me the real deal. I've been really interested in this certain girl. I even had flowers delivered to her at work. She loved the flowers and showed them off to all her friends. I left my extension for her to call if she was interested. She called and requested that we meet. So we met and she thanked me for the flowers. She told me that it was the sweetest thing any man has ever done for her including her boyfriend of two years. I knew she had a boyfriend but I want her! I get mixed signals that she wants me to come on to her, then again I feel I shouldn't get involved. Do you think it's worth trying to talk to her? If so what do you think is a good plan to see if a woman is really interested in you even though she has a boyfriend? I bet I stumped you on that one. Now lets see what you got!
Aalize replies
So, you want to steal her away from her boyfriend, eh? That's foul. You are probably making the mixed signals up. They probably only exist in your mind. She informed you that she has a boyfriend of 2 years. That was a hint and a half, she isn't interested in you like that.
The request
I recently decided to have a baby by an ex. Since I was going to save money on using a sperm bank, which is real inpersonal, I was going to pay him $500. I also wanted him to sign away his parental rights, which he agreed to do.
I'm not having second thoughts about my baby, it feels too right to be wrong. The problem is, I saw him Saturday night and while we were discussing it he said that he wasn't going to sign away anything (if you're questioning why I would want him to do that it was for custody purposes). He doesn't even want the money now. Should I just go with the flow or should I search for someone new? Adoption is not a choice and I am going to have a baby. By the way, I am good friends with his cousin and my best friend is a guy who has known them for 10 years.
Aalize replies
If you want full custody of your baby, seek another partner. There could be probems if you go forward with this guy. He may give you a custody batle. Too much drama.
Have you considered establishing a relationship with a mate? Perhaps you can have a baby with a loving partner, and bring your baby up in a loving 2 parent household. I am aware that women can raise children alone, but a loving 2 parent family would be very nice for all involved.
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