Advice Archives: Number 32

"When you ain't got nobody --- somebody, looks kinda good!" That's a personal quote between me and a couple of close friends. Although we joke and laugh about it, it has an element of truth.

It's an unwritten truth, everyone has someone. Whether it's a spouse, a relationship or a plain ole booty call --- but --- is the someone that you have, the someone that you really want? Ask yourself, have I settled for this "relationship?" Life is slipping away with incredible speed. Do you want to look back years from now, only to realize that your life is almost over, and you've had a lifetime of someone?

Someone can be described as the person who will do . You know him or her all too well, don't front! It's like when I liked this one guy, but he liked my cousin, so --- I settled for his brother. In my opinion, his brother would do. (of course it didn't work, because I didn't truly want the brother) Think back to the time(s) when you hooked up with the person who you knew would do.

You enjoyed the times the two of you spent together, but you were really never satisfied. Always searching for more. Searching for The One , not simply The One who would do. That's what Spring Cleaning is about. I remember when I was in elementary school, what is now known as spring vacation was Clean-up Week. During Clean-up Week, we cleaned up and cleaned out. Out with the old, the torn, the ragged, the rusty and that which wasn't in working order.

I know many of you are probably saying, hey! Aalize, hold up. Watch your mouth! What I have isn't perfect, but it will do. Wrong answer. Why should you be content with someone who will do? There isn't a justifiable answer, is there?

Spring cleaning begins with you. Take an inventory of what you have, what you want and where you are in life. Beginning with you, make a list of your pros and cons; negatives and positives. Scary, huh? It may be scary, but it's o.k. When it's in front of you in black and white, it's easier to understand.

Are you still fooling around with Bojack or Tatquaneisha because the sex is good? Been there. Done that. I was recently seeing this man who has absolutely nothing going for himself except an extreme oral sex talent. Although he was NOT the type of man I'd EVER waste my time on, I did just that. Wasted my time on him. But --- I learned from the experience, and then I took out the trash. You can do the exact same.

If you have a friend or co-worker, and you know that they don't have your best interest in mind, take out the trash. It's holding you back from being your all.

If you find yourself arguing with any person constantly, remove him or her from your circle.

If you are in a relationship with someone, and find yourself crying instead of smiling the majority of the time, take out the trash. It may not be easy, but you can do it!

If there's something about yourself that needs changing, (not fixing) start on it today. One grain of sand at a time, one step at a time. Have faith in yourself, because I have faith in you. In the words of Sherman, (The Nutty Professor) YES I CAN!