Aalize.com / Advice Archives / Advice Archives: Number 30
Advice Archives: Number 30
The request
Aalize's Advice with ATTITUDE!
NOTE: There are countless lame advice columns popping up on the internet every day, and there are many advice columnists who will tell you exactly what you want to hear. Aalize does NOT play that. She is often imitated, but never duplicated.
If you DON'T want to know the Real Deal, or if you DON'T want to take a trip BACK to Reality, we suggest that you DO NOT ask Aalize. She gives it up, so don't trip.
If you need Honest, Direct & Poignant Advice, feel free to Ask Aalize!, by completing our Advice Request Form.
Keep your eyes on the Aalize's Advice with Attitude! area, you never know when your Confidential Advice request and reply will show up! Remember to read our Daily Advice column every weekDay!
The request
I have been dating this girl for about a month now. When I met her she was the best person to be around. We have been talking about marriage and love each other very much. Everytime we talk on the phone it ends up to be an argument. She admits that she can't trust me because I use to be a player. I have since devoted myself to her and proved that I 'm not a player. She acts like a detective to me and asks me questions about who I'm talking on the other line and what am I doing....ALL THE TIME. Should I stay with her or should I move on? I know she cares about me, but I feel she needs to lay back and not be so up tight all the time.
Aalize replies
Tell ya what, tell girlfriend to slow the fu*k down. You and she have only been dating ONE month. If she honestly feels that she can't trust you, she shouldn't be with you.
This detective shyt is for the birds because quite frankly, you're going to do what you're going to do. I don't know if you've changed or not, but if she can't trust you, get with someone who can.
The request
I am currently dating a married, but soon to be separated woman whom I work with. We've been together {intimately} for the past two month's. However, during the past month, her husband has been suspicious of her. {He was that way even before she and I met}. He is very emotionally and physically abusive towards her and has physically hurt her on several occasions, yet she is still with him.
I have tried to encourage her to leave {without actually coming out and saying it} However, she is still with him. I care for her very much and we have even talked about the future and of raising a family "as soon as she is leaves her husband". It is difficult to feel like I'm being "played around with", but at the same time I can't let go of her. Please help!
Aalize replies
Yep, your feelings are correct. The odds are that you're being played. You say she's soon to be separated, huh? Any date in mind? I thought not. She hasn't left him because she probably isn't going to leave him.
You are involved in an affair. Do you actually think it's anything more? Think again.
The request
I met someone and we fell in love. We spent several weekends together resisting anything but a platonic relationship since she was in a seven and a half year relationship which she was very happy with. In the end we couldn't keep apart and we had sex which was great for both of us. I love this woman more than I have ever loved and believe she feels the same way but seven and a half years is a long time and she is now back with him (we were working abroad when we met) She rang me and said that she might be in town in a week and that we should get together to talk. That was three weeks ago and I haven't heard anything since then. What should I do? Should I let her try and get on with her life without me or not?
Aalize replies
Correction, you fell in love. She was in a happy, seven year relationship, remember?? She rang you (booty call) and decided not to go through with it, shit happens ya know? Strike this one up as experience because she is getting on with her life without you.
The request
Is it manipulative to remind my boyfriend of four years that tomorrow is my birthday knowing full well he might totally forget it?
Aalize replies
Hell no! Remind him, get gift(s). Next year, start campaigning at least 6 weeks in advance. Hell, the squeaky wheel gets the oil, gyrl!
The request
There's this girl were pretty good friends, but what is a quick, good way to find out if she's really interested in me?
Aalize replies
Er, ask her out --- perhaps?
The request
My boyfriend is in the Navy and our relationship is being torn apart by rumors that are being spread out here. Rumors like he's engaged to somebody else. He's 500 miles away from me and I love him to death and I want to trust him. I think I've kind of pushed him away because I don't trust him and I'm constantly accusing him. Is there any way to fix this relationship?
Aalize replies
If he is indeed engaged to another, I'm inclined to think what you and he had is over and beyond fixing. I feel you on this one because I was involved with someone whom I couldn't trust also. That shyt is foul. If you can't trust him, you do NOT need him. It just ain't worth it.
The request
Me and my boyfriend just broke up earlier today. We'd been going out for 3 months. I didn't realize I loved him untill he broke up with me. He said he wanted to still be friends and talk. Should I believe him and should I try and make him realize how much he's missing?
Aalize replies
If the relationship is what you want, do NOT settle for less. Friends my ass. Hell, you want the relationship AND the friendship, not the relationship OR the friendship. He already knows what you have to offer. If he doesn't want you, there are many who will.
The request
How the hell do you pronounce your name??!
Aalize replies
My name is pronounced: Aah-la-zay .
Remember to check out our Daily Advice Column every day!