Aalize.com / Advice Archives / Advice Archives: Number 29
Advice Archives: Number 29
The request
Aalize's Advice with ATTITUDE!
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The request
Aalize, I have a crush on my husband's brother. His dark eyes and dark hair are incredible. Should I follow through with all the hints I drop his brother. He hits on me all the time! Ooh, I know he would be a great LOVER!
Aalize replies
You should be ASHAMED of yourself. UNcrush your husband's brother, before you find yourself UNmarried.
The request
I met this really neat girl at a gay dance club. She is about 5 years older than me and really likes me. I like her a lot too, but can't deal with her 4 year old terror of a child. I want to run, but running doesn't solve things and I really think she is cool and very beautiful as well. We are not seeing each other exclusively, so I have been dating a few other girls. Why do I feel guilty? Am I too nice? What am I afraid of? I know, only I know that. Just thought maybe you had some harsh words to wake me up from my mind trip.
Aalize replies
There's no need to trip. The simple fact is, if you can't deal with her 4 year old "terror of a child," you don't even have to worry about this particular female.
Her child is a part of her, and if you have even remote thoughts of ever being with her exclusively, you're going to have to deal with the child, or forget about the girl.
The request
I have been dating a 32 yr. old man for 3 years. I met his parents once, 2 years ago. Since then, he hasn't told them he is still dating me. I mean, we travel all over the world together, but, when his mom or dad calls, he doesn't let them know he went with me. When he visits them, he lies about it. Is it time to dump him? He wants to know why it bothers me. He talks to them almost every day. Why shouldn't it bother me? BTW, I think once, when we had a fight, he made up lies to them about me. Now, he has to lie to them about me.
Aalize replies
Point blank, boyfriend has to come clean to his parents. He's a grown man, tell his ass to act like one. Either he wants to be with you or he doesn't.
It would be a shame to lose a 3 year relationship over something so silly, but if he continues to deny you...
The request
Basic story: Start as friends, get real close, discover possibilities for something more, but she's got a Boyfriend! I don't want to hate him, or be deceptive and try to steal her, but I also don't want to wait around for someone if there's no chance. (Even though I think there could be if he weren't in the picture.) What do you make of that?
Aalize replies
Ask girlfriend what's up. Hell, you don't even need to be wasting your time if this isn't going anywhere. The two of you are friends, get closer, possibilities are open and then BAM! She pulls a boyfriend out of her azz. She could have mentioned him to you a while back. Girlfriend may be trying to play you for a fool. Don't let it happen.
The request
I have this guy friend, actually I am beginning to think that he is a bit more than a friend. We were friends for about 2-1/2months then I slept with him. Some people say that he is not ready for a relationship, however behind closed doors he acts different, tells me I am the bomb to chill with, takes me to dinner, buys me things. His boys say that he is not looking for commitment. Every now and again, I get a doubt and I say when in doubt get the F**K out. Should I roll?
Aalize replies
You mentioned how you feel and how his friends feel. Some people and his boys say he's not ready for a commitment, o.k. I hear you.
What does HE say? He says you're "the bomb to chill with." That doesn't equate with relationship. If you can accept the sexual friendship for what it is, you're fine. If you think that just because you're having sex with him he's your man, you're dead wrong, and need to roll.
The request
I met this guy two years ago and after 10 minutes of talking to him, I knew I was going to marry him. He seemed interested too but he told me he has a girlfriend of 4 years. He calls me every week and we talk hours on the phone (long distance) but then he goes to visit her on V-day. I haven't made my feelings abundantly clear and have reconciled to "just being friends" What do YOU think I should do??
Aalize replies
Trust me on this one. It's not that he can read your mind or anything, but believe me, he KNOWS that you like him. He enjoys talking on the phone with you for hours, but goes to visit his GIRLFRIEND (the one he told you about in the very beginning) on Valentine's Day.
You should respect his relationship with his girlfriend, and get over the Psycho-Dramatic Bullshit . (... after 10 minutes of talking to him, I knew I was going to marry him) Oh PUHLEEZE!
The request
I met this guy a few weeks ago and he seemed like he was interested. I went to his place we kissed and stuff, but no sex! After that, he never called...help!
Aalize replies
O.K. One of two things happened. A.) He lost your number. (Not likely) B.) He was interested in sex, you didn't give it up, he said fu*k it, and decided not to call. You don't need help missy! You helped yourself by not giving it up to someone who was only interested in sex.
The request
How can you get the spice and passion back in a relationship after there has been an affair?
Aalize replies
First of all, there must be total forgiveness. You (or whoever) must forgive the other partner with your whole heart. The other partner must give you reasons to trust him/her again.
Once the forgiveness and trust issues are resolved, celebrate the reunion. Reflect upon all of the times and reasons that you and the other partner are together, and how wonderful it is to forgive and start anew. Now, do just that; start anew. The same kisses that were good then are good now. The same touches, caresses and lovemaking that was wonderful then is wonderful now.
Sure, yesterday you were hurt, but through total forgiveness --- today, you can be happy. Good luck.
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