Aalize.com / Advice Archives / Advice Archives: Number 23
Advice Archives: Number 23
The request
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The request
I'm a 19 year old girl who has done some terrible things. I'm really a nice person and I don't know what happened to me in the past few months. It all started when my best friends boyfriend started to flirt with me alot. I liked it - I'll admit it. She was always flirting with my boyfriends so I guess it felt good to do it back to her. Anyways, it ends up that my friend breaks up with this guy and finds herself a new guy. She dated her boyfriend for 3 years. While she was away, out of town with her new boyfriend, her old boyfriend called me up and asked me to go out.
What ended up happening is that we had a great night of sex together. I told him that he couldn't tell a soul because I didn't want to hurt her. Well, a month later, I wind up pregnant. This has always been my worst nightmare. We used protection and everything. I haven't slept with many guys in the past and I was actually quite shocked that it happened to me. It ends up that he decides to get back together with my best friend even after I told him I was pregnant. I was really hurt about this because I really started to like him. Since he was not being supportive in any way at all, I had an abortion. Even if he was supportive, I don't think I could handle having it anyway. I still have nightmares about that day and won't ever forget it.
Well, it ends up that my friend finds out about us sleeping together! She went absolutely crazy. It's been some time now and we've only run into each other once. She absolutely hates me. She doesn't know about the abortion. I pray that no one does. My friend and her boyfriend (the jerk) are now back together and me and him don't talk anymore. What my question is - Was I really in the wrong for being with him, even though they were broken up and she started to move on with her life?
P.S. My friend cheated on him for years on end .
Aalize replies
No, you were not wrong. He and she were officially broken up when you and he did that thang. She's mad at you, but has accepted him back into her life. Now that --- is foul. If she is angry with you, she should be angry with him -- it takes two to tango.
If it makes you feel any better, when I was in my teens I made an awful lot of mistakes too. Believe me, if I should ever write a book about my life story, most people would not believe it! Things happen, we deal with them in our own special way and move on.
You were born alone and you'll die alone. Don't waste your precious time worrying about her or him. If your ex-friend can't forgive you, forget about her. Regarding the abortion, you may find the information on the related link below helpful. Times may seem very bleak right now, but remember --- This too shall pass.
Related Link: Peace After Abortion
The request
I am a straight, 25 year old female. I have only been in relationships with men. Recently, I met this woman on the internet, and for some reason I feel attracted to her. She is currently only seeing women. We have talked alot and have really gotten close. I think if I were to even consider being with a woman, it may have been her because she seemed so caring and sensitive.
Anyway, I gave her an invitation to meet me at my house, and since then she has been very distant and cold. She is always making excuses about having to work, but yet she is on line whenever I log on to chat. First of all I can't believe I fell for a woman, and that I can't get her off of my mind. Is this normal for me to feel this way? I can't even eat. Should I continue to pursue her and have my heart ripped in two, or stay with my current straight lifestyle?
Aalize replies
Oh Miss Tina. Isn't it obvious? She met you and did not like what she saw --- duh! You know she's making excuses. You know she's still constantly online. You know you need to abandon all thoughts of getting your funky on with that particular female!
Is it normal for you to feel that way? Yes. We, as humans have all kinds of emotions. Do we act on all of them? No. Here are a couple of related links for your Bi-Curious side!
Related Links: Lesbian Information - Bisexuality Information
The request
This guy I've been dating for only two weeks, already asks me to sleep with him. I am a virgin and he is not.
Lately he has been a little distant and he never calls me; I always call him and I'm getting sick of it. What do you think is going on here? I'm starting to fall for him and I'm scared I'm gonna get hurt. What should I do?
Aalize replies
Y ou should leave his ass alone, pronto! He has made it crystal clear that he is very interested in sex with you, and not very interested in a relationship with you. If you get weak and sleep with him, you will get hurt; make no mistake about it.
Don't even think about throwing your precious virginity away like that! If he wants you to lose your virginity to him after only two weeks in a very one-sided relationship, tell him to get lost.
The request
What do you do if you have been WRONGLY accused of doing something that you had absolutely NOTHING to do with and because an older person said they saw you and chances are I will be found guilty when in reality i didnt do it. Please hurry I need this advice badly!
Aalize replies
I suggest that you tell the truth. Inform everyone involved that the older person has you mistaken for someone else, and be able to prove where you were, and who you were with when this instance occurred.
There really isn't much more that you can do. I believe that you will be just fine; remember --- the truth will (usually) set you free.
The request
I am 40 years old and find myself in love with someone half my age. He found me on the internet and we have been writing each other for two years but have never met. He loves me too. Do I go for it?
Aalize replies
Snap out of it! If I've said it once, I've said it 1000 times --- you are NOT in love with him; you've NEVER met him! He's NOT in love with you; he's NEVER met you! You, and he, are in love with the fantasy of what you hope will be.
Why have the two of you not met? Two years is a loooong time. Have you exchanged pictures? Have you spoken on the phone? Have you been totally honest with him? Has he been totally honest with you?
If you've been totally honest with each other and if the two of you are willing to take the cyber-relationship to the next level --- go for it. Realize that in reality, he may not be what you expect, and vice versa.
The request
I have been trying to talk my girlfriend into having Anal Sex with me for the last several months and she still refuses. Is there something wrong with trying new things? I don't think so but, she does. I told her she should relax and just try it, if it hurts her, we'll stop. I can't seem to talk her into it. Do you have any advice that might help me to at least talk her into trying it?
Aalize replies
Well damn! With a handle like BigSlam, I can imagine why she is hesitant! Seriously, here is some useful information on anal sex. For starters, it puts you at the higest risk of contracting the H.I.V. or A.I.D.S. virus; not to mention syphillis, gonorrea, herpes and veneral warts. Although many couples engage in anal sex, the rectum was not designed for penetration by hard objects.
Don't try to manipulate her. She doesn't want to engage in anal sex, respect her decision. No, there is nothing wrong with trying new things, but how willing would you be if she insisted on trying new things involving you, her and a strap-on?
The request
I fell for this girl the second time I saw her. I had been thinking of her everyday, but after a few weeks I found out that she is in a relationship. But I just can't give her up... help?
Aalize replies
Of course you can't give her up --- she isn't yours! Don't do this to yourself. Focus your attention on another girl, one who is available.
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