Aalize.com / Advice Archives / Advice Archives: Number 45
Advice Archives: Number 45
The request
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The request
I go into a jealous rage whenever I see my girlfriend talk to other guys. I know I am wrong because 15 minutes later I hate myself for this. How can I prevent this jealous rage?
Aalize replies
Tsk, tsk, tsk. You are absolutely pathetic. Keep going into these jealous fits and you're gonna find yourself girlfriend -less . Your jealous rage says a lot about you as a person. You are insecure and you need to raise your self-esteem. Realize that your girlfriend is with you because that's where she wants to be at the time.
If you continue acting a fool she just might leave you for one of the other guys that you see her talking to.
The request
I'm having sex with my girlfriend but so far it hasn't felt good at all for her... I was wondering what I was doing wrong and how I can make it feel good for her...
Aalize replies
You're not necessarily doing anything wrong. Your girlfriend has to know what feels good to her before she can relay that extremely important information to you. If she doesn't know what feels good to her, how in the hell are you supposed to know?
Sex covers such a broad spectrum. Experiment with various positions, and oral sex is usually a winner. Your girlfriend needs to get in touch with her sexual self before you can.
The request
I was dating Eric for four years then we broke up. Recently we started talking again, and we both want to be together but he has a girlfriend. The only reason he won't break up with her is because he doesn't want to hurt her. Eric means the world to me, I need to know how I can get him back. I will do anything.
Aalize replies
Eric is a bald faced lie. If he wanted to leave her, he'd leave her --- point blank. He doesn't want to hurt her, huh? Oh puhleeze! You're the one he's trying to let down easily. You want to be with him, and that fact does not mean that he wants to be with you.
I understand that Eric means the world to you, but you obviously do not mean anything to him. Oh wait ... I'm sure he thinks of you as a friend . There isn't anything that you can do (short of extreme manipulation) to get him back. Unfortunately --- It's not simply who you like, it's also who likes you.
The request
I'm living with a woman for over seven-years now and am baffled. Briefly, I'll try to explain. For the first year, maybe two, things were very good to great, then they changed. A year ago she moved out. We talked and saw each other some, and it seemed she was wanting to work things out. After two months of getting nowhere, I asked her to leave me alone. Then she said she wanted to move back, and she did. A year has passed and in this time she has been more loving toward me than I have been toward her. I lost something in those two months she was gone, or regained something of myself, and don't have the same feelings for her. I do love her in some way that is difficult to explain. It's just not the same, and I am reluctant to leave her. I "think" it is because I want to hope it is possible to regain those lost feelings ... please, what do you think?
Aalize replies
I think that you and she need to stop playing games. This is a classic case of the I love you, but I'm not in love with you syndrome. There is no reason to be miserable in a relationship, and if you're not in love anymore --- you just aren't.
You know, when we break-up and make-up, and make-up, and break-up --- we tend to think that it's meant to be, but sometimes it just isn't. I think you guys are used to each other, but need to love each other enough to let one another go.
The request
I met this guy in jail. He seems cool and everything and is supposed to be released in a few months. We write each other and everything and I kind of like him. What should I do? Should I wait 'til he gets out to get to know him, or tell him to stop writing?
Aalize replies
What? Get to know him? I'm quite sure you know everything about him as of right now, especially the part about him being in the joint for something that he didn't do. (...yeah right) We usually want to meet a partner that we can plan to spend the rest of our lives with. Be honest, what can this man do for you? (... besides THAT?! ) It was fun while it lasted, tell him goodbye.
The request
I met this guy and I slept with him, and he was my first experience. It didn't work out with us and now I am dating his brother. We have problems because I was with his brother first, but he knew about me and his brother before we started dating. Now it seems every time we are around his brother, he gets mad and jealous, but he says its not because of that. I think it is. So my question is --- do you think that our relationship is going to work, or are we always going to have problems?
Aalize replies
You and he are always going to have problems because his brother will always be his brother. Not only that, every time he sees his brother in your presence, he is reminded that he is with his brother's leftovers --- slut.
The request
My boyfriend recently asked me what is a girlfriend --- can you answer that for me?
Aalize replies
A girlfriend is the exclusive female that a boyfriend (or girlfriend) likes to:
Share hopes and dreams with A girlfriend is also the person that you buy gifts for on Sweetest Day and Valentine's Day. Plus --- you NEVER forget her birthday!