Aalize.com / Advice Archives / Advice Archives: Number 36
Advice Archives: Number 36
The request
Aalize's Advice with ATTITUDE!
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The request
I have a guy that I used to date. He is still in my life. We still see each other and spend time together, but he calls us friends, when we are more than that. We have sexual relations, but not sex. He is jealous and he only lets me be with him when it's convenient. He says he cares, and he is great sometimes. I know he needs me. He won't have sex with me. He acts like he holds it over my head in a way. What can I do? I love him. I need your advice.
Aalize replies
Girlfriend he does NOT need you. He's having fun with you. He is USING you. Stop being his play-thing. He has told you that he thinks of you as a friend. Believe him.
The request
I recently just started crushing on this boy. I met him in the computer lab at school and was hooked. Unfortunately I am not the type of girl to just go up to a boy and ask for the digits. Since I didnt know his name, I asked around in some of my classes to see if I could get some info on him. One of my male friends in my class has a class with him and he said he would hook me up.
So in a matter of 2 days I got his number and called him. the first thing he asked me on the phone was if I was a virgin. I told him yes which is the truth. He was like that is too bad because "I was going to take you to a magical place and when I get ready to take you home you won't want to go." I dont know what to make of that. but I am usually the one calling him. He's called me once, and he returns my pages. I have only paged him twice though. He also thinks I'm shy, but when we are on the phone I am the main one talking. I will admit that I am quiet with that person until I get to know them, male or female. He is not making it any easier for me, plus I have really never had a boyfriend and I'm still waiting for my first kiss and I'm 16. Maybe you can just give me some advice on the dating game in general. Thanks for listening.
Aalize replies
He asked you if you were a virgin because he's interested in sex with you. You're doing all of the calling huh? Not good. The dating game isn't hard to figure out, go with your gut. As I've said before, when it feels right, it is right. When it feels wrong, it is wrong.
Here are a few tips for you:
Do NOT do all of the calling Do NOT accept a Monologue type conversation .
(whereas you do all of the talking) If the potential relationship appears to be going nowhere, don't go with it. Know when to say when.
Do NOT rush into a relationship. Haste makes waste.
Do NOT give up your virginity to the first male who claims to love you. There are so many fellas who will promise you the ENTIRE WORLD; then they'll hit it and quit it.
The request
I am a teenager. I came to your site because I wanted an honest opinion & it sounds like you will give it. Here is my problem. I met a man over the internet. We have been meeting in chat rooms & talking for a long time. We get along great but he is 24 & I am only 15. He has been asking me about meeting & possibly having a relationship but I do not know if I should have a relationship with him. He is a great friend. I know that my mom would not approve of us having a relationship. She knows that we are friends & that doesn't bother her but she wants me to finish college before I have a really serious relationship. He has suggested marriage when I am 18. Since I am still jail-bait & this might hurt my mom & my future, I do not know what to do. Please Help!
Aalize replies
Leave him alone. I'm surprised that your mom allows this internet friendship. This man is an adult and a stranger. Is she aware of his age? It's obvious that he isn't the sharpest knife in the drawer, he's a grown man with nothing better to do than stalk minors on the internet. How pathetic.
Be very, very careful. The internet allows one total anonymity. He could have several young girls chained in a basement. He could be a rapist or a murderer. I hate to frighten you, but this is the real world, and these types of people are lurking all over the internet. No matter how friendly he may seem, do not meet him.
The request
I am completely in love with a guy and I recently found out that he has a girlfriend. We almost got together before, but I was hesitant and now I want him! He and this new girl just got together, what should I do?
Aalize replies
Of course you want him --- he isn't available. He who hesitates is lost. You snooze, you lose. Park your ass elsewhere; that seat is taken.
The request
My girl and I just broke up so the advice is a moot point but it may help at another time ... My last girlfriends na na didn't smell good. In fact sometimes the odor was so strong that I would make one of those faces. (luckily she never saw the face) Anyway , I am a normal guy, been with a few women that I would wear as cologne all day long; the sex was great with this girl but the smell.....what should or could I have done? "?
Aalize replies
That's a damn shame. If this problem ever arises in the future, tell her. She could have had an undiagnosed vaginal infection, or even a STD. If the odor was due to poor hygiene practices, you could have:
Bought her several boxes of Massengil Douche Bought her a case of FDS Feminine Hygiene Spray Bought her a case of FDS Feminine Hygiene Wash Bought her a case of FDS Feminine Hygiene Powder
The request
I am a college senior, and 1 guy I used to hang out w/ freshman year asked me out a few weeks ago. He says that he is lonely and needs company, which I don't mind providing since I'd like the same. However, he has stood me up three times. I have given up, but I'd really like to know what in the hell makes a guy do that?
Aalize replies
He did it because he could. You were on the back burner. He stood you up because the person he actually wanted to be with was available. He spent time with her, and left you hanging.
The request
O.k. here goes, I had a crush on a really good friend of mine but it went away because I became really good friends with her boyfriend. I was thinking "well if I can't have her at least somebody cool can" but now he moved away and my crush is returning. She's single and I'm single but I'm not sure of her feelings. I've tried making little hints but she isn't seeing them. I don't want to become the rebound guy and I really don't want to ruin the friendship, she's the best friend I've ever had, so what do I do? Plus both of us are heading off to college soon. should I go for my high school crush now, or wait until the 20th reunion and then hook up like some bad made-for-TV-movie? ?
Aalize replies
Oh go for it already. The worse thing that could happen is that she will say no thanks to the relationship. If your friendship is as strong as you say it is, it will not be at risk because you expressed your feelings to her. Today is the only thing you definitely have. Make the most of it.
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